Whether highly engaged or preferring a more passive role, mothers of the bride typically have specific duties to fulfill in wedding planning. Their involvement often streamlines tasks and adds organizational flair. Embrace your mother’s assistance by sharing a list of traditional mother-of-the-bride responsibilities—let her strengths shine, and enjoy a smoother wedding planning experience.
We consulted top wedding planners Colin Cowie, Diann Valentine, and Lynn Easton to put together a list of the ultimate mother-of-the-bride responsibilities. While the majority of these duties lean towards tradition—these are tasks moms have been covering for decades—we also asked them about some additional modern ways moms can lend a hand when their kids tie the knot.
Accompanying You in the Search for the Perfect Dress
Traditionally, mothers play a crucial role in accompanying their daughters during the search for the ideal wedding dress. Their presence is not only to share in the joy of finding the perfect fit but also to provide valuable feedback. With an eye for different styles, moms often offer the most honest opinions, making them essential companions during this significant journey.
Contributing to Venue Selection
While the choice of wedding venue is deeply personal, it often involves collaborative decision-making. Mothers, being integral parts of the family dynamics, play a key role in this process. Whether it’s providing insights into what type of venue aligns with the family’s preferences or offering constructive input on the feasibility of a destination celebration, moms are valuable contributors. From narrowing down destination options to providing a second set of eyes during venue tours, your mother is someone you can confidently turn to for support and guidance.
Assisting with Bridesmaid Coordination
In the event of any unforeseen issues or disagreements among bridesmaids, your mom can step in to help navigate and resolve potential conflicts. While most disagreements should ideally be resolved directly among the involved parties, your mother can act as a mediator or handle less-direct challenges. Whether it’s addressing last-minute dress issues or tactfully managing a situation at the reception, your mom’s self-sacrificing and unconditional love can prove invaluable in handling awkward and difficult conversations.
Exploring Ceremony Traditions and Family Heirlooms
Your mother often takes the lead in researching religious or cultural traditions that you or your partner’s family might wish to include in the wedding ceremony. Her guidance is instrumental in incorporating meaningful elements that add depth and significance to the event. Additionally, your mom plays a vital role in the search for something old or borrowed, such as a beautiful piece of jewelry with a rich family history that spans generations. Her involvement ensures that cherished heirlooms become a poignant part of your special day.
Crafting the Perfect Wedding Invitation Wording
In the case of traditional wedding invitations, they typically come addressed from the parents, and your mother’s input on the wording is invaluable. As her name is prominently featured in print, seeking your mom’s opinion ensures that the wording reflects a touch of her taste and elegance. Additionally, she might generously offer to contribute, enabling you to afford a more exquisite style than initially planned.
Assisting with the Guest List
When faced with limitations in budget or venue capacity, your mom becomes a valuable resource to help streamline your guest list. Her experience and perspective can aid in making necessary cuts while ensuring that the final guest list reflects those closest to your heart. Moreover, she may suggest having RSVPs directed her way, allowing her to manage responses efficiently, possibly through an online spreadsheet shared between both of you.
Managing RSVPs
View this as an extension of the guest list duties. Inevitably, there will be a handful of RSVPs that require tracking down, and this task can be entrusted to your mom if she’s willing to take it on. With her familiarity with a considerable number of the invitees, she is well-suited for the job. This responsibility is better suited for her than someone more distantly connected to the family, ensuring efficient and personalized follow-ups.
Being the Point Person for Vendors
Your mom can serve as the primary point of contact for vendors, acting as the go-to person for caterers, florists, planners, entertainers, and the venue. Providing her name as the backup contact allows her to field questions and assist in coordination. Following Colin Cowie’s advice, ensure your mom is well-prepared by providing her with a list of creative contacts and a dedicated message book solely for the wedding day. This setup positions her as the designated communicator between the bride, the bride’s father, and your partner’s parents on all wedding-planning matters.
Offering Insights on Registry Picks
Drawing from her experience navigating the home goods sections of department stores, your mom is a valuable resource when it comes to registry picks. Consult with her about essential items, what you truly need, and what you can do without. Seek her input on the one item she treasures most from her own registry and inquire about anything she wishes she had included with foresight. Her guidance ensures thoughtful and practical selections for your registry.
Offering a Second Set of Eyes
Count on your mom to be the extra pair of eyes you need, whether it’s reviewing vendor contracts, confirming your venue choice, or scrutinizing numerous minor details to detect and address issues before they come to your attention.
Finding a Dress She Loves
Moms, it’s your time to shine and feel your best on your daughter’s special day—a momentous occasion for both of you. Your responsibility includes discovering a mother-of-the-bride dress that aligns with your personality while complementing your daughter’s overall vision. Coordinate with the mother of the groom to ensure your ensembles harmonize and avoid clashing.
Playing Hostess at Pre-Wedding Parties and on the Big Day
The mother of the bride takes on the role of the official hostess, managing tasks such as handling the bridal shower and warmly welcoming out-of-town guests as they arrive for the celebration. This responsibility extends to the wedding day, where greeting or visiting with as many guests as possible remains significant, even if receiving lines are not as customary in modern times, as explained by Diann Valentine.
Assisting with Day-of Dressing
The timeless tradition of helping the bride into her dress and placing the veil is a heartwarming duty that remains close to the bride’s mom. Lynn Easton emphasizes that this cherished act is a sweet and time-honored tradition.
Running Last-Minute Errands
Count on the mother of the bride to come to the rescue in scenarios like a forgotten passport, a fallen lipstick, or the sudden need for deodorant. She’s the go-to person to handle these last-minute details and ensure everything runs smoothly.
Taking Part in the Ceremony and Reception
In certain situations, a mother of the bride is more than welcome to escort the bride down the aisle, especially if the bride’s father is unable to do so. For instance, in most Jewish weddings, both parents accompany the bride. In a typical Christian wedding, the mother of the bride should be seated in the first pew before the ceremony and leaves the venue first afterward. At the reception, she should eventually find a place at the parents’ table, following the completion of greetings.
Joining the Dance Floor
Following your first dance with your partner, it’s your mom’s turn to take a spin with her partner. This moment allows her to shine and enjoy a special dance at the celebration.
Offering Constant Love
No matter the circumstances, your mom is there to provide unwavering support in whatever you may need. While tensions may arise—whether between you and your mom or between your families and your partner’s—these moments are transient. Emotions may run high, but your mom stands as your rock through it all. Remember, while Mother may not always know best, she consistently has your best interests at heart.